On New Year’s Eve I was observing your cyclic chronologic rites from the comfort of a suburban retreat alongside of some of your more elderly co-inhabitants. I have often dreaded these times because of these elderly earthlings’ acceptance of the baseless pronouncements made by their media handlers. Then again, I owe you’re TV ranch hands for corralling their minds with petty concerns. For this was the very means of my most recent awakening. When I noticed that my human caretakers believed all of this drivel, and also knowing them not to be stupid or insane, I came to the conclusion that they were subject to mind-control through the TV oracle around which their domestic gathering place was structured.

You see, when this aging host expires, and I transmigrate into the body of some ill-fated fetus—hopefully not in Juarez of Mogadishu—and am thereby placed in the horrifyingly inept care of some stupid earthlings, it will take some time before I realize that I am not one of you. Then I will have to go about the odious process of relocating my orbital pod, convincing Charles that I am the actual reincarnation of Regal M-116-S, in the process overcoming his sentimental attachment to this LaFond avatar, and then somehow, well, you know the drill by now. Fieldwork is simply not what it used to be back when I partied with Mayan astronomers.

So, I sat through the story of the Maryland State Fireworks Prohibitions being defeated in the most farcical manner. It is illegal to own or use fireworks in Maryland and Pennsylvania. It is, in Maryland, likewise illegal to traffic in fireworks. In Pennsylvania, however, it is legal to buy fireworks if, you are not a Pennsylvanian, and you sign a form promising to remove these noxious world-ending death-ray devices to another state—that being Maryland, which happens to be a stone-throw from the retail outlets in question!

Next was a note about cleansing foods, to purge your nasty digestive tracts of the toxins you presumably shoveled into them in massive quantities over the past month.

There was then news of football bowl games. Vlad would have been pleased—excepting the excessive contact rulings that have recently been impinging on the dignity of this war game.

Then things heated up with a still photograph of three vicious looking white men in hip hop Jessie James outfits robbing a bank. I was beginning to develop interest in your predatory habits again, when news that another one of your elderly World War Two veterans was beaten and robbed by young thugs. The 89-year-old man, a member of your ‘greatest generation’, was out walking between 6 and 7 a.m. Three teenagers in dark clothing attacked him, struck him on the head with something, and then robbed him of his cash.

Little information about the victim was reported, in contrast to a recent attack on an 89-year-old black man in Texas.

The media shepherd then announced that nothing else was known of the attackers, which was an obvious lie, as the victim had been able to identify the color of their clothing. She then pleaded for help in identifying these thugs who she was protecting by failing to identify their known racial characteristics.

Now, based on the photo of those three white bank robbers, and the fact that that crime took place in the same suburban municipality as the mugging of your collective lingering hero, I was naturally curious as to whether or not these thugs were white, black, or Hispanic, particularly since gang activity by all three ethnic groups is on the rise in that county.

Why has the race of these attackers been withheld, when it was declared across the country a mere two weeks ago that a beastly white man beat a black elder?

I do know that two white WWII veterans have been killed by teenage black attackers in the U.S. in 2013.

Also, last week, there were calls in New York for stiffer penalties against black teens who attack Jewish men in the ‘knockout game’, with one lawmaker stipulating that attacks that are not part of a robbery should be prosecuted as hate crimes. This notion that our elder in the town of Millersville is less a victim of violence because he was robbed, as opposed to some investment banking analyst being sucker-punched for juvenile enjoyment, strikes me as obscene. Then again, I’m not one of you quirky little apes, but a toiling anthropologist working off a research grant with some pretty draconian stipulations attached to it.

It also strikes me as obscene that the known racial identity of the man’s attackers is being withheld. This means one thing: that the State Media considers it more important to protect criminals from victims, than to protect victims from criminals. Indeed, if the ’news’ report had stated that these boys were white, taken together with the fact that three whites just robbed that bank down the road, one might conclude that white gang activity is spiking, and that you might wish to avoid groups of white youths and young men.

If this crime had taken place in Baltimore City, where virtually all violent crime is committed by black males, it would be reasonable to assume that the attackers were black. I am guessing that these Millersville attackers were black, only based on the fact that a black law officer was interviewed about the crime, which he declared would not be tolerated. The interview had obvious propaganda overtones, although I felt an immediate kinship with the black redneck cop, surely a holdover from some bygone era.

This entire trend, the demonization of white criminals, and the obscuring of the racial makeup of non-white criminals, [believe me, when the cops talk to each other about suspects, what color they are is item number one on the conversation platform] points to State management of your violence trends. Since whites are the majority, and would reasonably constitute the main force of any domestic American insurgency, the State is letting you monkeys know in advance, that whites who defy it will suffer especially severe treatment.

The State does not fear minority groups, because, by cultivating them as a menace and keeping them at large, they gain a certain measure of leverage with the primarily passive population of whites they are charged with 'protecting'. And, should any non-white insurgency ever develop traction in this Police State, they will be easily crushed, few and localized as they are.

Furthermore, the cultivation of a violent ethnically divergent underclass by the State—as evidenced by its every policy—has naturally developed a counter-current militant ethic among demonized white males. This will insure, that in case of a social breakdown of some sort, that State forces, if they ever find themselves overtaxed, will be able to pull back and watch the three rival ethnic blocks they have created, tear each other apart. The managers of the United States Autarchy should be commended for their farseeing counterinsurgency provisions.

I feel much sympathy for the old man in Millersville who was beaten and robbed by three race-withheld attackers. He has, however sacrificed for higher ends: minority youth inclined towards violence have been emboldened to level up their reign of terror and continue exporting it from urban to suburban environments; reactionary elements among the majority have been further embittered, and more likely to expose their treasonous tendencies prematurely, so that they might be dealt with ahead of whatever crises the State fears; and the poor elderly creatures that sat next to me viewing this injustice, were further terrified, indeed began discussing self-imposed curfews and later discussed their willingness to support a crime-fighting politician.

The chances of You People ever getting off of this rock in infestation-sustaining numbers continue to diminish. I am, however, impressed with earth as a potential galactic penal colony.

Extraterrestrially yours, Regal M-116-S