Across This Line
I have announced to My family—and more functional loved ones—that I am quitting the grocery Biz, post-haste, and shall sink deeper into self-imposed poverty in order to enhance my writing quality and quantity.
If my health holds up through 2017, I will put in written notice on Tuesday, January 2nd, that I am resigning for reasons of poor health.
My last day of work, at the latest, will be Monday Night-Tuesday Morning, January 15-16, 2018.
My son, my girl, my girl’s girl, my X-girl, my part time girl, my son’s wife, the woman that wishes she was my girl, the woman I wish was my girl, my mother, my sister, my Nordic friends from Kamas Valley Utah, all said, in response, “I hope you will start charging for self-defense training!”
I cannot, on my honor [honor only applies to men, so Lana, Mary K. and Astrid must pay] charge a training fee for any of the men I currently train or who I have trained. Nor would I accept it. These men are my brothers and, more importantly, the inheritors of my Art, which is not my art, but the art of the men who gave me a fighting chance in this shit world.
You guys: Erique, Oliver, Mescaline, Adam, Shawn, Cory, Big Ron, Brett, Damien, Charles, David, Lee, Jim, Drake, Blue Berry Pancake [this dude can hit], Jamal, Curtis, Bryan, Keith, Tom, Pat, Nelson, Ray, Dennis, Nick, Keith, Nero, Ulric, Sean [and any of Sean’s fighters], any of Sensei Jansen’s Students, all of my friends West of the Mississippi and any of Sifu Clark’s students, I will not accept money from you for any coaching I do in the future.
That said, anyone who contracts me for training in boxing, urban survival, blade work or stick-fighting in the future, I will either forward you to Sean [who I wish was my son], Sensei Jansen or Sifu Clark or I will charge you $20 per head, per session, plus travel expenses.
There, I did it. That is my single pledge to The God of Things. Bring me your engraved currency wafers and I shall consume them upon the Bland Altar of Modernity.
Some people have noted the extreme fitness of the studly body which I mangled in 2016, in my last fight, which graces the cover of the book linked below. I disappointed the women by informing them that this Christian Solder is married to the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon. To the men, I let them know, that this man didn’t get this body as a gift. He was a skinny kid and that body is the result of over a decade of puritanical toil—that’s Solomon Kane without his cloak, having won the fight that put those marks on his flesh.
That could be you.
Note:
Women cost $40 each, $60 if they give me a massage after class and if I am feeling beneficent and you plead gracefully, $100 for overnight slave girl instruction.Note from your book keeper
James, I applaud your efforts to augment your meager earnings. You will have more success if you include a method by which potential clients may reach you.
Regards,
Mortimer Goldshekels
Oh, yes, 443-686-0598 or email me at jameslafond dot-com at gmail dot-com
Being a Bad Man in a Worse World
Fighting Smart: Boxing, Agonistics & Survival
Hi James
The grocery business' loss is our gain. You must count me in for some training when you're in the area. The Khan only for me. Focusing on defense for the decrepit pale face.
Sorry to hear of your landlord issues. All of us thought criminals will probably experience that before long. If push comes to shove, I have some space for your blade collection, which I covet. And maybe for another living neanderathal.
Best regards,
Manny.
Manny, I plan on travelling by bus some once I am free and would love to spend some time with you training and neanderthaling.
My landlord has his hackles up over this and would harbor me against more protesting than I would be willing to stick around for.
If I end up not being able to support my rental agreement through writing income, you can come to the Hurt Yurt and draw from the weapons cache, before I toss my possessions in the dumpster and head out on the road. I have often wondered if I could support travelling light and writing by giving combat clinics in schools around the country in return for a place to stay and food.
Sometimes, i have this crazy desire of leaving everything behind, and move to Harm Cioty, just to be one of your students.
I hope you're still alive when i finally came to the US.
Bruno, my phone number is 443-686-0598.
Call for my address.
Hope to meet you some day.
You flatter my friend. If you won't except money that means we need to buy more books.
With Amazon taking over the globe we can setup weekly food shipments to the plantation house!
Note, that in a post-apocalyptic situation, the Plantation House is self sufficient, with hoodrats served on the Barbie at dusk—seriously, Big Ron and I have done the math on this... although deep in our high school dropout cups at the time.
Artist in residence at the right community college. You'd have to behave yourself though.
What happened to your body? Do you have some sort of chronic pain condition?
Get your damn videos and charge for them. Also, make a basic footwork video (armed and unarmed).
The piece of junk is wearing out, all of a sudden. Some older guys have told me that the mid 50s is like that. No real pain issues, just mechanics.
When my friend mescaline comes back into town we will do the videos you suggest.
Check out Max Shank´s mobility videos. I'll buy you his 5 minute flow stuff. You probably just need mobility work. It helped me a ton