My beloved brethren (Bozo neglected to remember women were present, the cause of his alimony payments which he had never understood)

Follows here a fanciful exam of the source of our American behaviors and American Republican closet morality- in a historical context of our British cousins and our own America’s Royal 'Curious George' Bush. (The school’s president groaned)

Nearly every educated American of our generation had been psychologically nursed as a child on the wisdom of the stories about Curious George, a playful, innocent monkey, but lacking the necessary brains to innately recognize or extract himself from dangerous situations. (the school’s liberals had become interested already, going against experience and every instinct)

Fortunately, or so it seemed at the time of our childhood, George was in the nominal charge of the ‘Man in the Yellow Hat’, a benevolent and wise person with great understanding of George’s nature… and yet for all of the Man in the Yellow Hat’s mis-approbation of George’s innate delinquent nature, it cannot be denied that these stories inculcated our thinking with one great flaw. Repeatedly, the Man in the Yellow Hat left George unattended- leading to multiple circumstance enraging the innocent surroundings of our very small world’s neighborhoods. In fact, George is a vandal and the Man in the Yellow Hat is his enabler. Today, we will have a look at the larger historical background of our own George and his Man in the Yellow Hat:

Tony Blair

Here in the USA we speak Yank. My own traceable English ancestry migrated from London to Virginia about 1640 and in the meantime that has mixed, I am sure, with people declining Robespierre's invitation to a party, as well as the emptied jails and insane asylums of England, religious fanatics from the continent, Indians, Blacks, Mongols, and I am obviously 'mongrel.' But it wasn't only noble political refugees, criminals, lunatics and fanatics that were culled from the old world, but many Yeomen as well, mixing with the other populations, creating the curious mix of our state today. I suspect that my friends ‘down under’ have a somewhat similar social biography in the world of our Aussie cousins. (the Dean of Humanities began to feel sick at his stomach)

Now what I suspect what we expatriates sometimes experience, though no fault of our own, is a deleterious genetic effect that Europe in general, and England in particular, had sought to eliminate from their 'families.' I carry this remarkably deleterious gene myself, and my research on the matter tentatively suggests it cannot be deleted because of perpetual hybridization in our American family, and there has been no pogrom for this gene's elimination. For research purposes I am naming the deleterious gene "Proto Anglo-Saxon Chauvinism." (the school’s Chancellor began to feel faint)

Now again, we all had thought this PASC gene to be largely recessive in our American population, but I think we must consider now that it may manifest in heretofore un-noticed behavioral traits such as my own present subconscious urge, e.g., a sudden un-suppressed desire to make a comment such as this short Address. I invite the listener to consider my words taken for a particular hand gesture of continental origin. (Bozo held up his hand with a middle finger, men chuckle and women gasp in the audience)

This gesture had been, once upon a time in Anglo-American relations, flung across the Atlantic, in both directions, and had been historically taken for 'rudery’ Now in our American population, we had thought the PASC gene (and source of this behavior) to be largely benign, excepting in the Republican party where it is concentrated to an unhealthy degree in this political pseudo nobility, the American Tories. Here, it is noticed in the American PASC Republicans who are ashamed of their 'doodles', normally which they only 'yank' in the dark, and claim they never 'yank' out of context. (Senator Larry Craig turns beet red and the Handcock U president puts his face in his hands)

This bears a bit of explanation. Versed a bit in the American experience re our Anglo Saxon heritage and the 'divorce', there are historical examples of general insults, inevitably intended, with some exceptions, this shouldn't ever result in fisticuffs, but sometimes has between friends and brothers, with a bit of liberty and license. (the British interest in the audience perked up)

In so far as these insults go, there was one delivered a couple of centuries and a score years ago in the vicinity of Yorktown, Virginia, a small ditty of British origin, composed by a campfire in the army of His Majesty, adopted by my countrymen, and that is 'Yankee Doodle.' I do believe that a close scrutiny of the song by the science of etymology must reveal 'yank e' doodle', the precise original term, is 18th century cockney or equivalent dialect, refering to the manipulation of a peculiar bodily parthence the terms 'yank' and 'yankee.' (Stunned silence in the largely American attendees, the few British sniggered)

Probably the context of the Americans adopting the sobriquet was made in the heat of fraternal dispute, proposed example given, 'and if we can whip you who named us that, what does that say about you?' (A single drunken whoop from a Texas Cowboy alumnus, the British chuckles were over)

But we all went on to patch things up, and out of purely good and manly

sportsmanship, us ‘Yanks’ kept the name and became endeared of it, despite the

dangers of embarrassment to our progeny. (The British are suddenly interested again)

There does seem to be a bit of national amnesia concerning the origin of the term, but

who hasn't heard of the New York Yankees? In our modern idiom they would be called the Manhattan Masturbators (rousing cheers from this west coast school’s Oakland Athletics fan base, the British laughing out loud)

At any rate, all of us hybridized American folk have had to learn to get along despite

the presence of 'proto Anglo-Saxon chauvinism', and so it is just sort of lurking there,

a characteristic of our 'family.' It must be my own mark of the gene that fails to see

any serious impropriety in these remarks, but in fact I am disturbed by Tory and

Republican behaviors, these progenitors of ‘Yankee’ behavior. (Bozo’s alumni

classmates, on this cue, raise a ‘Students for a Democratic Society’ banner, the British

delegation is split)

Now, I am not privy to any modern research concerning the deleterious PASC gene in

the old world and whether the efforts to eliminate it were entirely successful, and I am

not familiar with the norms of behavior there, but I would caution my Royal Old World cousins not to breed too closely, if this is what was intimated when Mr Mitterand noted Maggie Thatcher had "the eyes of Caligula." (San Francisco’s British consular delegation walks out)

Before I am subject to medieval justice and suffer the fate of Guy Fawkes, consider this bit of oratory in the tradition of Punch & Judy and might not intemperate replies from a particular quarter make the case that these beloved characters (whom

Americans might well embrace) are expatriates as well. (The British having left, no

one understood this line)

Well, here, plainly stated, is an American polled by pundits, strongly suspecting

Curious George Bush is an Anglophile (does he truly love Tony Blair?) and I cannot

help but infer that the whole world has noticed and is prepared to conclude the

Americans cannot help but ‘yank’ another’s ‘doodle’ when they should better keep

their hands to themselves. (drunken male crowd roars, outraged women are leaving in

droves)

But consider first the primary party responsible for our ‘Yankee’ makeup, and please, only then consider our character. (drunk Log Cabin Republicans have been shouting Hallelujah Brother!!)

And I beg my Anglo cousins, whether Proto Anglo Saxon Chauvinism survives in the Merry Old England or not, do bring Curious George Bush home to be Tony Blair’s retirement butler, and 'We the People' will happily keep our sobriquet 'Yank', dubiously,renewed in the eyes of your American cousin by our Commander in Chief in concert with your own, whom in tandum have, whilst whistling our glorious tune, Yanked their Doodles out of context worldwide! (Wild cheering, standing ovation) And thanks for NOTHING England!!” (Bozo ends in Richard Nixon’s famous pose while shouting the ‘Fighting Chicken’ sport slogan ‘Cock a Doodle Do!!’ pelvic thrusting with raised middle fingers rather than victory signs)