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Harm City Sweepstakes: Can You Win?
One More Day Left: Guess How Many Cops Were on Duty the Afternoon that Mescaline Franklin Came into Town?
© 2017 James LaFond
OCT/17/17
Can you guess the number of BPD patrolmen on duty across the 9 precincts on a shiftless day in mid-October? The answer will be posted Monday, 10/21/17. Checkout the missed guesses below.
I promised my BPD source that I would not name the day or the number of officers on duty one day this past week, as he does not want to get busted.
This anonymous BPD officer told me that due to quitting, retirements, the time required to train newly hired officers and "other factors, like exhaustion and call-outs" that on one afternoon last week there was a certain number of officers on patrol in Baltimore City.
Let me give you a clue: it was less than the optimal number of officers.
If you can guess the number I will confirm the total and send you a PDF of a book of your choice.
If you are wrong, I will give you the bad news, but you can guess again the next day.
So, ma reada, do tell a snow nigga how many poleese was on patrol in Harm City during one particular daylight shift last week!
Email Answers
10/17/17
Tony Rooster
The goddess Fortuna came unto me as in a vision and revealed to this mere mortal that the number is 7.
That answer is incorrect.
One middle-aged white man's opinion
1.I would assume that BPD has minimum staffing standards arrived at through a collective bargaining agreement arrived at between the City and the BPD Union/Guild. Therefore, they would put out a call for OT volunteers at time-and-a-half to prevent falling below the red line. So many cops are paying alimony and-or overextended on houses, cars, boats, etc. that there should be no shortage of “OT whores” willing to come in and go through the motions.
2.The time from roughly 2 pm to 5 pm (give or take) SHOULD be the “fattest” time of day, since swing shifts come in around 2 and day shifts head for the barn at 4 or 5. However, even on full staffing this seldom leads to a flood of cops on the street, because that overlap time is taken up with court appearances, collateral duties, or what is laughingly referred to as “training”.
3.So excluding the detectives cuddled in their cubicles at HQ, Traffic units busily ticketing middle-class commuters, and social-workers-with-badges such as School Resource Officers and Community Liaison Officers; and given that B-More is a vibrant, diverse city of 600,000+, I would be greatly surprised if there were fewer than 30 patrol doggies out on the street at that time.
-Shep
this well-reasoned answer is...incorrect!
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SteveRogers42     Oct 17, 2017

James—more info needed. Was this day shift, swing shift, or overlap hours (if any) in between?

Also, this refers to patrol only, but does it includes Sgts. or just the basic patrol grunts?
James     Oct 17, 2017

Just patrol officers.

He did not specify rank.

This was a period from 12-5 p.m. in which only that number of officers were on patrol. I take it the time given is strange because the call outs, overtime and sickness.
Eric     Oct 17, 2017

I'm guessing there were zero?
James     Oct 18, 2017

This is wrong, Eric, but you are closer than Bran Mak Sworn's ridiculously optimistic 20!
Bran Mak Sworn     Oct 17, 2017

20 or so agents of the state.
James     Oct 18, 2017

This is Baltimore, sir.

Think in single digits.

By the way, I guessed 80!
JryyErnqRq     Oct 18, 2017

I'm guessing 4
James     Oct 18, 2017

This appropriately depressing area is incorrect. more hints on Bran Mak Sworn's comment
Bran Mak Sworn     Oct 18, 2017

Wow I know alot if major cities have minimum staffing requirements around there.

5? How many precincts in Harm City?
James     Oct 18, 2017

There are 9 precincts.

5 is wrong!
Eric     Oct 18, 2017

In my best Count from Sesame Street voice:"One!!! Ha ha ha!!!"
James     Oct 19, 2017

Eric, your cynical answer has been noted—and noted to be wrong!

You did, however, use the correct number of digits.
Eric     Oct 19, 2017

3 public servants!!! The answer pool is shrinking, my friend!
James     Oct 20, 2017

Eric, your answer is wrong—see you tomorrow bro!
Bob     Oct 20, 2017

# 9, Doctor's Orders.
James     Oct 20, 2017

Boy, Bob, isn't it fortunate that my readers are not trying to make a living off of this paddock-like?

9 is incorrect, though the correct total is a single digit.

The answer is not zero either.
Bob     Oct 21, 2017

Eric looks primed for a bit more piñata-bashing, ha ha.
Tony Rooster     Oct 22, 2017

If it's not 2, I'll eat my hat.
James     Oct 23, 2017

I hope it tastes good, bro!

I think you kind of laid this up so Eric could dunk it...
Eric     Oct 22, 2017

Maaan, just rose from a nap, having dreamt that I saw 6 of BPD's finest batoning the holy, quivering faaak out of a Nikki Sixx piñata with Kickstart My Hesrt blaring. Gents, call into work tomorrow 'cos I'm feeling mighty six!
James     Oct 23, 2017

Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

That is correct, Eric.

8 days ago only six of Baltimore's wardens patrolled the streets from 11-5—in 9 precincts.

I was shocked, guessing 80!

I mean, with 2,000 heads of pork on the rolls, how bad could it be?

Decide what book you'd like an e-version of and email me at jameslafond dot-com at gmail dot-com.
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