Here is how a movie review should be done, without literary filmocology bullshit. Right, this movie is pretty fucking good. The political correctness level is mild by today’s standard. Love interest is a Valkyrie, who is interracial, but fortunately it is not developed, no genital contact, so that is good.

Thor has his hammer destroyed by badass witch sister Hela, goddess of death, but after a voyage of discovery finds that he is not the god of hammers, but of thunder, and that the power is within him. Thus, he faces the stupid as fuck Hulk in a gladiator match on a junk planet run by a gayish person of a certain ethnic group, but in the final battle with Hela, still can’t defeat her, so he embraces the Ragnarok prophecy, releases the fire demon Surtur, who becomes huge and destroys Hela and Asgard. But the people escape. Well, at the very end they probably crash into even more badass villain Thanos’ giant rocket ship, so in the end, everybody is pretty much fucked, as we all are. But, we knew that, and still enjoy the terminal fight. Normally that should spoil the movie, but we watch things for the violence and special effects, not any other psych-social film bullshit.

There is an opening scene where Thor enters Surtur’s realm and fights his hordes, pre-destruction of his hammer, Mjollnir. The sound track is Led Zepplin, “The Immigration Song,” and watching Thor smash demons to pieces, and ultimately destroy the whole fucking lot of them with a mega-blast of lightening, was enough to make even the most swarthy into a Viking:

“Ah-ah, ah!

Ah-ah, ah!

We come from the land of the ice and snow

From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow

The hammer of the gods

W'ell drive our ships to new lands

To fight the horde, and sing and cry

Valhalla, I am coming!

On we sweep with threshing oar

Our only goal will be the western shore

Ah-ah, ah!

Ah-ah, ah!

We come from the land of the ice and snow

From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

How soft your fields so green

Can whisper tales of gore

Of how we calmed the tides of war

We are your overlords

On we sweep with threshing oar

Our only goal will be the western shore

So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins

For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Yeah, ooh-ooh, fuck. What a pity music did not go down that direction, but our overlords have decided on our slow racial genocide, while extracting maximum buck.

In the movie, there are many racial mortals, no doubt unintentional, namely that what counts is not things or landscapes, but the people itself. Also, do not put too much faith in one weapon, for any weapon may fail (guns jam, swords and sticks break). In the end, the best weapon is one’s brain, to come up with strategies a la Sun Tzu and all that. Also, sometimes the only way to avoid extinction of a people, is to destroy a former homeland, so that the evil ones die eating each other. I did not expect to see my philosophy of destructionism/neo-barbarian nihilism put in a movie, but, hey, this is Ragnarok.

At a deeper level, Hela, Thor’s older sister was imprisoned by Odin because she wanted to conquer the worlds and plunder, and make Asgard great again. Marvel’s Thor is of course a liberal, so this idea cannot be allowed to wash. But, really, everybody should have joined Hela and just kicked ass again, instead of taking it up the ass. As in life, as in the movies.

I got free movie tickets, making this the first movie in about ten years that I have paid to see. I noticed that the opening of the movie had the main actors and directors giving a plea for good folk not to pirate the movie. I guess that bit will not be in the pirated versions that people not doubt have already vikinged.

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