I spoke to Ben at the bus stop today. He’s a real down to earth dude who observes courtesy, and is going to a community college. He’s been out of prison for six months I think. Back in August he was stabbed four times in the back. I’ll have to have a sit down talk with him about that. We only had a few minutes and he wished to speak of his frustration dealing with young suburbanized black kids.

Ben is an athletic guy in his early forties with a mild disposition. He confided that he has been in and out of prison his whole life and has finally found the key within himself to stay out. He is reading the bible, going to school and trying to learn as much as he can about the world he is now determined to engage in a productive manner. He looked at me in the dark morning of pre dawn where we stood on the curb, “I always got along good with white dudes in the joint. It went against ‘the way it is supposed to be’, something I could only do because I had a rep—people knew about me. But you see, I like dealin’ with those I can trust. Generally, the white dude keeps his word; does what he says.”

‘Now this thing with the young people is just crazy. I get on the Twenty-two last week and there are seats in the back. But you know how it is, they want to stand up front. I say excuse me three times, and this boy—who I called a man even though he is in high school—would not move. I eventually push past him and he elbows me [points to throat]. I just looked at him and did not come back on him. I said, ‘I hope you have a nice day, and I hope you come to love yourself someday.’”

“You see, that was not about me, it was about him and how he has been raised to hate hisself and have no respect. Then, I’m scheduling at school and this kid starts claiming that I disrespected him because of reaching over the counter. I just kept walking away, telling him it was good. These guys have no idea what I have done, who I am. They think they are this and that. I kept my cool—kept walking away, in fact failed to register for something because I am trying to make distance from this dude before something happens. Eventually, he keeps pushing for an apology. The only apology I gave him was that I was sorry he did not love hisself; that he had to express hisself by challenging me. We are friends now. He says, ‘Hey, how are you Mister Ben’.”

Ben and I had a brief conversation about the lack of respect and ironic lack of physicality among the young men he meets who are so ready to ‘throw down’ and so unable to deal with the consequences. He finished with a brief statement before we had to go our separate ways, “I’m really hoping I can help, not just myself, but these kids. The counselor at school is taking me to talk to some kids at [names a city high school]. She seems to think I can help. I hope it’s so.”

I hope it works out Ben.