For those street geeks, losers, freaks, and assorted dysgenic bi-products of our sick society who do not make the Panhandler Nation or Streets Have Eyes grade [Yes, we have standards here.] I have, in an all-inclusive, liberal, group-hug kind of way, consented to give them equal time with such legends as Stick, Decker, Denizen Kane and T-Bone. Being zombie bait, designated as terrestrial chum in the all-too-likely event of a Zombie Apocalypse, may not seem like much.

What can I say pal, its free.

This idiot spent 45 minutes this morning complaining to and threatening the female bus driver, because of the before school traffic that she had less than no influence over. As the blacks began laughing at him I cringed in embarrassment—since I look white, and might have been mistaken for a distant relative of his. Then seeing that he had an audience he picked on this skinny teenage girl who was scared to death of him, wooing her with race-mixing sexual innuendo, and even getting on his federal cell phone and telling an imaginary friend that he was bringing a ‘Puerto Rican girl’ with him. He did redeem himself somewhat in my eyes when he called for the death of the Maryland Plantation Master, Governor O’Mick.

Here is a direct quote, as I sat six inches from him writing while he spewed, “Let me run the fuckin’ show! You Ain’t worth a shit! Let me fuckin’ drive! Da gobment ain’t worth a shit. I should be in charge! Get me some Puerto Rican girls—ain’t about color—it ‘bout who you is! I ain’t stupid. I got a piss too! We ain’t goin’ no where. I should have kept my dumbass home.”

I agree.

I know this job slacking piece-of-filth from the time he tried to buy some oxys from me, thinking that any decent white dude has to be a junkie like him. He is 51 years old, which makes him possibly the oldest whigger in the world. He dresses like Eminem and talks with the ebonic gangster finger spread. Of course, even though he is threatening women and saying the f-word every other sentence, we can’t put our hands on him because of the new security camera system. At first I liked the security cameras, but now it has done nothing but enabled rudeness and threats, leaving the cretins like this fool safe from harm lest the goons of the Mommy Sate descend upon us for cleaning up another one of nature’s mistakes.

Ah, for the Zombie Apocalypse. I would dropkick him from the back door to the swarming zekes!

Last night, at 12:01 foodstamps broke! By 12:23 we had families of fat people pushing their duos of overflowing shopping carts to the checkout at Ghetto Grocer Getaway.

First came the three white trashian drug addicts, drooling on the belt, dropping half-eaten doughnuts, and cussing as they reached for things that were not there—“Where’d it go man!”

A $200+ order with over $500 left in their account.

Next came the 20-year-old breeder with her 9-year-old son, who she was cursing at and slapping and threatening to ‘beat’. She rang out over $300 and sent him back in for more.

Finally came a tall bald, fat man with expensive hip-hop attire, a gigantic son sporting the same, and two breeders, dolled up with designer purses and hair extensions. All of these smiling, snack and soda and steak purchasing cretins had plenty of expensive ink on their arms. They spent $340 and change, and left in an SUV with over $400 remaining on their card.

If the zombie apocalypse comes I suggest we stake these fat buckets of degenerate DNA at busy intersections. The zekes should be able to feed extensively on these while we cross the street down the road a ways.

I realize, that if you don’t know me, that you might think I am joking with this Zombie Bait series. I will not hold that against you—it’s kind of quaint.