Well folks, I too have been waiting on the edge of my theological seat for these past two months wondering if Tarl Cabot died in that cardboard box as he wrote his prophecies in his own blood with a fast food spork. Based on the area code of the phone number this fellow lives out west in the Rocky Mountain States, which had got me thinking, that perhaps he had found Nirvana up in Colorado at the pot dispensary.

Then, lo and behold, the other day I received a voice message, no mere text. The voice was deep in a Heston-like way that would have seemed more appropriate on Easter Sunday, so I had no problem imagining this fellow consulting an almighty force. I was disappointed by the length of the message. I noted it and set it aside for a few days, and come back to it now, none the wiser as to its meaning. Perhaps another believer out there can help me.

According to the Box Prophet, otherwise known as Tarl Cabot, the third secret of the universe is:

“You’re it.”

I trust this message does not mean that I have been named some kind of postmodern messiah. On the other hand, that could get lucrative…